My Phases of Summer

I would like to share with everyone the phases of summer at my house….

Phase 1-

That first 10 days of summer so full of potential. I have a routine that lays out the plan for each day, I make vows like – Only 1 hour of screen time per day only after an hour of reading!

I think this summer we are really going to bond as a family and the kids are going to build a stronger sibling bond that will carry them on for years after I am dead. We will work on school stuff every day and when they start school in the fall the teachers will sing our praises.

Phase 2 –

The next 6 weeks. Quickly the plans fly out the window. Reading is done only when commercials have words, the bond they were going to create is just seething hatred and complete annoyance of each other interrupted by moments of cooperation to cause a mess or disobey in some new inventive way. Sporadically the idyllic schedule is followed and screen time is based on how annoyed/angry mom is.

Phase 3-

Total anarchy. It last a few weeks maybe, I’m not sure as time and calendars don’t exist in this phase. Children eat potato chips for breakfast or eat cereal out of a plastic bowl with a plastic spoon because there are no clean dishes and the child is almost naked because there is no clean laundry and it is 10:30 and we are only now having breakfast and the children have been playing with tablets for 3 hours.

This is a scary time.

Phase 4-

2 weeks and one day before school starts. I wake up and fall over a toy that has been there for days and scream “THIS IS IT !!! WE CANT LIVE LIKE HOBOS ANYMORE !!!!!”

This phase strikes terror in the souls of the children and causes the husband to say “Oh no honey don’t scare the children.”

Phase 5 –

2 weeks before school starts. The cleaning and organizing now begins. Unrealistic goals of cleaning every room and closet and drawer are made. The hopeful phrase “We will be on top of it when school starts and keep up with the mess and never will it get this bad again” is said several times to any who question THE PLAN.

Ohh the pinning on Pinterest that happens during this time is wonderful. Perfectly packed, fun, nutritionally sound lunches, morning routines, cute back to school crafts and teachers gifts are all pinned with the delusion you will actually do these things. I make a cute little homework station and a place to put papers.

In my mind, all will be okay and these things must be done no matter the cost or screaming or controlling it takes.

Phase 6-

The first 7 days of school. The kids clothes were laid out the night before, I got up early and took a shower and made a nice warm filling for the mind and tummy breakfast, the kids take a vitamin,  we have prayed for each other and the nations and they have their cute little Pinterest lunch.

All is well and I am certain it will last all year.

Phase 7-

When you know summer is really over. It is 10 minutes before we have to leave for school we just got up, I throw a handful of dry cereal on the table for the kids to eat as they find their missing shoe and I search the couch cushions for lunch money in pajamas while screaming ” HURRY UP!!!”

Happy Summer,